Cyclisme conjugal — L’Officiel du cycle, 2 May 1953, a Short Story by Miguel Zamacoïs of a Clerk Who Prefers the Bicycle to the Car

From L’Officiel du cycle, du motocycle et du camping, 2 May 1953, N° 18, the spring number, pages 47 and 49: short story ‘Cyclisme conjugal’ by Miguel Zamacoïs (nouvelle inédite), part 1: a clerk who refuses a car because he prefers a bicycle falls in love; one drawing of a man in an armchair dreaming of cinema and cars. The title, headings, captions and lists are transcribed as printed; the text is summarized in Ebykr’s words, and the page images carry it in full.

— Page 1 —
CYCLISME CONJUGAL

NOUVELLE INÉDITE

de Miguel ZAMACOÏS

[Ebykr summary; the article’s text is not reproduced. The story opens on Henri Marèle, an office employee of a large biscuit factory who handles the shipping of zinc cases to retail customers. He earns his living but has no room to live large. By going without certain things he could own a car like so many others, but he likes to dress well, eat in good restaurants, see films on their first run, smoke cigars and buy heaps of newspapers, and these small expenses keep him from saving a large sum. So he has no car. When friends and acquaintances ask why, he does not give the true reason, since his self-esteem is misplaced like most people’s. He answers that he wants a car that is something from the first, a great make of choice, and that the matter can be taken up again when he has the post of chief accountant he is aiming at; until then he cares little for a second-zone jalopy. He almost adds “Comme le vôtre.” but holds back out of regard for his listeners’ own pride.]

* * *

[Ebykr summary, after a three-star break. He also says that people with a car generally no longer take a step on foot, while his doctor has ordered him to take much exercise. If the talk goes on, he adds that if everyone did as he does the anguishing problem of city traffic would be solved. As the authentic sportsman he claims to be, he holds that it is mocking the world to call it sport to roll along in a box whose movement depends on a mechanism: the car driver is in his view no sportsman, only a “penseur”, who thinks about his speeds, his gear changes, accelerating or braking, hitting nothing and nobody, mistrusting signals and policemen and trying to recall every article of the Code de la Route, and above all passing other cars and gaining ten minutes on his timetable at the risk of his life and his family’s. The narrator asks what relation any of that has with sport. Henri Marèle owns, quite simply, a good touring bicycle, which is authentic sport: legs, loins, will and morale all work, and the brain too, kept alert by the countless risks that threaten the fragile mount.]

* * *

[Ebykr summary, after a three-star break. Henri suddenly falls in love, truly this time, at twenty-six, an age mature enough to see that a “pour de bon” arrives that is the last and supposedly final one. He has met Francine Duval, a shorthand typist of twenty-two, pretty and graceful, with one small fault: she has no dowry. Everyone knows from La Fontaine’s Fables that work is a treasure, and Francine is an active housekeeper of the first order. During the engagement Henri instructed Francine in his ideas on motoring: they will have a car only when, instead of shipping the zinc boxes, he receives the checks. Francine agreed tenderly between two kisses, and the sentence runs on into the next image.]

[The opening of a short story, in black and white. The title “CYCLISME CONJUGAL” runs across the head in large light italic capitals. Beneath it, flush right, “NOUVELLE INÉDITE” appears in smaller italic capitals and “de Miguel ZAMACOÏS” in italic with the surname in capitals. The story opens with a tall bold drop capital H, and the body is in a justified sans-serif face. Two small drawings and one large one break the text. At the left, a small shaded drawing shows a cigar lying across an ashtray, on a dark diamond-shaped mat. At the upper right a large pen-and-ink cartoon shows a stout man in a suit with a cigar between his teeth, reclining in an armchair with one leg crossed over the other and a newspaper on his lap, pushing away with one hand a sheet headed “AUTOMOBILE” that carries a picture of a small saloon car; above him a cloud holds a restaurant table with a waiter and a diner, and a cinema entrance with a doorman and a poster marked “EXCLUSIVITE”. The cartoon is signed in a small box at its lower right “Minouvis”, the first letter a looped monogram. Near the foot of the right column a small halftone drawing shows an old typewriter with a sheet of paper in the roller, set before a pale circle. A three-asterisk ornament separates the sections of the text. No text from the reverse of the leaf shows through.]

— Page 2 —
[Ebykr summary; the article’s text is not reproduced. The sentence from the previous image carries on: Francine acquiesced because it is a time when one agrees provisionally about everything. Besides, she too adores the bicycle, her legs adding to their natural grace a toughness kept up by continuous training. All is well, and the pair rolls along lovingly, as Des Grieux and Manon might have done, with the quoted words “Nous irons à vélo tous les deux… Tous les deux !”. The marriage follows, with a successful wedding meal and plenty of biscuits at dessert; the bridegroom gets thirty percent discount on each box.]

[Ebykr summary; the article’s text is not reproduced. Married life goes on to a new stage the color of ecstasy. On Sundays the newlyweds each take their own bicycle and ride into various countrysides, all pretty because by the light of the honeymoon moon the tall smoking factory chimneys take on the look of minarets in fairy tales and the bistro arbors that of the gardens of Semiramis. Yet Henri is not satisfied: riding along the roads on two independent machines breaks close contact and cools the intimacy of conversation, and soon seems abnormal and then intolerable. He proposes in a speech to Francine that they buy a tandem, the vehicle made for lovers, with perfect agreement of pedaling as the symbol of their hearts beating in unison, a single synchronized direction with her in front, he behind with the curls of her neck within reach of his kiss, and the effort conjugated, he of course furnishing the most serious part, so that the course before the two of them is one.]

* * *

[Ebykr summary, after a three-star break. The tandem is bought and used with happiness and zest, and life goes on, the couple loving each other gently and childishly.]

On use du tandem avec entrain…

[Ebykr summary; the article’s text is not reproduced. One day, with a frown, Henri, pedaling, asks what the new scent is. The reply begins on the next image.]

[A column of text and one cartoon in black and white. The body of the story is set in a justified sans-serif face and a small three-asterisk ornament marks the section break. At the head of the column a small line drawing shows a table lamp with a flowered shade standing on a table. In the middle stands a large pen-and-ink cartoon of a tandem at speed: a grimacing, hunched man with unruly hair rides in front and a young woman with a ponytail, her face turned up, rides behind him; behind her a cat sits in a box strapped over the rear wheel, and a thought cloud above them holds a birdcage with two birds. Speed lines and puffs of dust trail behind. The cartoon is signed in a small ruled box at its lower right “Minouvis”, the first letter a looped monogram. The italic caption sits centered beneath it. No text from the reverse of the leaf shows through.]

— Page 3 —
[Ebykr summary; the article’s text is not reproduced. The previous image’s closing question is answered in dialogue: Francine says it is Rêve-Enlacé, from Garilet; Henri finds it not marvelous, smelling of peppermint lozenge, and as he is placed he misses none of it. On another occasion Francine says she has just had a fright and wants warning in time, when a car is broken down in the middle of the road, whether they pass on the right or the left; she wanted to pass on the left, the side for overtaking, while Henri charged right. Henri answers that a man was lying under the jalopy on the left and one could hardly cut off his legs; she says they would have kept clear enough, and he asks what she would have done about the lorry coming at speed.]

* * *

[Ebykr summary, after a three-star break. After a fair number of other incidents, Henri tells Francine that the road is climbing steeply and asks her to pedal a little, since after carrying her since morning he is feeling it in his hocks.]

On va parall`lement, côte à côte…

[Ebykr summary; the article’s text is not reproduced. Francine replies that it is his fault, since she told him that morning she was not in form and he insisted on going out anyway, in this heat; she is starting to have enough. “Plein mes jambes”, Henri answers, and they will take the train at Meulan.]

* * *

[Ebykr summary, after a three-star break. The tandem is sold and two “bécanes” are bought, with which each partner has found road independence and personal responsibilities again. It is a sort of small divorce, but with nothing sad or dramatic. They go side by side in parallel if they can, in single file or on each side of the road if necessary. They love each other as much as ever, since Love, which follows on wings, is with the two of them everywhere at once.]

Miguel ZAMACOÏS

[A column of text and one cartoon in black and white, closing the story. The cartoon is a pen-and-ink drawing of a young woman with a wavy hairstyle, in a short blouse and shorts, riding a ladies’ bicycle with her face turned upward, beside a smiling man with a rucksack and bedroll strapped over his rear carrier, on his own bicycle; a thought cloud above each of them holds a singing dove with musical notes. At the left a village with a church spire sits on a low hill, and speed lines and clouds of dust trail behind the machines. The drawing is signed in a small ruled box at its lower right “Minouvis”, the first letter a looped monogram. The italic caption is centered beneath it. The body text is set in a justified sans-serif face with three-asterisk ornaments between sections. The author’s name is set flush right after the last paragraph, with the surname in capitals, and below it a small black tailpiece shows a round vase of roses. No text from the reverse of the leaf shows through.]